CHRISTIAN

Building Self-Esteem in Children

By Vicki Berchtold

Most parents have heard these heart breaking words from their child, "Nobody likes me" or "No one wants to play with me" or "They are calling me fat" or "I just want to die". These are painful words for a child to say and for a parent to hear. Self-esteem is the feeling of self worth, which is based on a person's internal thoughts and beliefs. A child's self-esteem can be affected by the way the child looks, by their abilities and if they feel loved and cared for.

Paul Lewis, in his book "40 Ways to Teach Your Child Values", writes that a child's self-esteem is based on three things: security of belonging, satisfaction of achievement and the joy of feeling wanted.

What can a parent do to increase their child's self-esteem? First, we will look at self-esteem from the Biblical point of view and then look at things a parent can do to increase their child's self-esteem.

Biblical (God's) Point of View: There are some basic principles that are very important that we teach our children.

1. God created each person -

· God created our inmost being and knit us together in our mother's womb - (Psalms 139:13).

· God knows each person, before they were born and sets them apart to do His

will - (Jeremiah 1:5a).

· Each person is created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advanced for us to do. We are God's workmanship - (Ephesians 2:10).

2. God loves each person.

· In John 3:16 we are told that God so loved the world and that means He loves every person.

· God showed His love for each person by allowing His son to die for our sins - (Romans 5:8).

3. God has a plan for each person's life.

· In Jeremiah 29:11 God states: "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

· God planned each person's life, before they were born. (Psalms 139:16b).

4. God has given each person talents and abilities.

· I Corinthians 12 - This chapter talks about the gifts and talents God gives people.

· I Peter 4:10 "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

Increasing Your Child's Self-esteem:

As a parent, know what your child's abilities and talents are and what they enjoy doing. Encourage them to pursue their talents and gifts. Also, know your child's areas of weakness and limitations: what they have difficulty doing and emotions that they struggle with. This knowledge will help you to know how to assist your child better, especially in areas they may need extra help and encouragement in. Also knowing your child's weak points will help you to know what tasks or chores are beyond their mental, physical or emotional ability level.

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